Final Blog

Before the course, I found myself believing that anyone can do anything. America is the country of opportunity and success can be reached by anyone. I still hold this view without a doubt, but I have learned that one’s social standing and social circumstances play a tremendous role in the choices that one CAN make and the choices that they DO ultimately make.

As an emerging adult we are faced with a different situation than most because we’re at a crossroads between child and completely independent. The issue of marriage is one of the best ways to view one’s social circumstances and how it affects that decision.

Why get married? Since someone is likely to marry in their social class, it seems logical that someone of a lower social class will be more likely or have more incentive to get married because it will be a dual income family in which will be more prosperous. For a single man/woman that makes 100,000k a year, it may not be as important to have two incomes.

The purpose of marriage is debated but many would argue it is to have emotional support and to reproduce. With reproduction, societal factors play a tremendous role. I’ve learned about pecking order and resources and how the birth order effects which kids have the most resources available. The first and last kids are usually better off because their is nobody to share the parents income w/ them. Through this ‘pecking order’ certain personality traits are even discovered which will help guide a person into certain career fields in many cases.

Another aspect of kids is how many to have. There are many ‘oopsy-babies’ out there, but for the people that have planned out their number of kids.. societal factors have really changed the way in which babies are produced. 100 years ago, babies were produced to help in the field and around the farm. In many lower class families people will produce many children in hopes that one can become very successful and get the rest of the family out of poverty. In the same situation, people will have less kids knowing that they cannot support them. If people truly understand their societal and life situations, they can better understand what to do.

We never got around to talking about abortion but w/ certain societies, they will support/reject it. Depending on where you live, what niche you’re in, and what background you come from will depend on whether you would have an abortion whether it is a good reason or not. Assuming you think abortion may be either bad or good…

More societal factors play into divorce. We learned that if a child is around divorce that it can severely influence what happens to them later in life. Not being around adults a lot can cause a child to be ‘bummed down’ if they are always around kids and not around adults who speak new vocab words and things like that. If someone is a child during a bad divorce it can affect the child in multiple ways. People think they have access to their own decisions about divorce and this is true, but your prior circumstances play a bigger role than most people actually believe.

In the old days, even as close as 60 years ago, women married for a very different reason than they would today. It used to be more for stability and protection (and a good life). Now it seems to be for the same thing, but with less of an emphasis on these things. Women are able to make their own money, generally, though less than men for the same jobs. However, these women seem to have evolved into wanting more with the womens’ rights of the 60s. I believe women are more interested in love than they were 60 years ago or further back in history.

Another thing we discussed was the narrative of ones’ life. I found this particularly interesting. It seems so basic. Society tells you to graduate highschool, go to college, graduate, find a job, get married, have kids, retire, die. Obviously not everyone follows this particular model. Though the general consensus is that this is the path most taken. Many people in class seemed to not be on board with this being the most successful model, but I suppose that society has shaped what will become the most successful. Having kids before college, marriage before high school.. society tells us is bad and not the best mode for success. We know this because of experience, but would more people try it if it weren’t socially looked down upon?

If you can’t tell by now, society plays a tremendous role in the development and choices that one makes over the course of their life. Though we are each free to make our own decisions, society plays more of a role than we think. I never even touched on jobs and the fact that ones societal standing and the fact parents can get better education, more resources, and better internships for kids who aren’t worthy just because of who their parents are. Despite all of this, we all have choices but they aren’t really 100% ours to make. Give a small percentage to society.

Nice guys finish.. well I don’t know

I’ve heard a billion times that girls like the ‘bad boys’. Whatever that means..

I myself would probably considered the opposite. On countless occasions I’ve heard girls say, “Ohh i hate so and so for what he did, but I can’t stop thinking about him” or “Oh he hits me and calls me a piece of crap but I’m going to stay with him” There are a million variations of these.. I’m sure that we’ve all heard them

Its not that nice guys can’t get girls but I’ve never been able to understand why people who do a bunch of drugs, bad grades, and break the law are so much more desirable. It also seems to be a young person thing. Maybe it is because when are older they grow out of this ‘rebel’ stage but no women are married to these outcasts.. or very few are.

I feel that many girls think these ‘rebel’ or ‘bad’ guys can offer them something that the can’t get with a nice guy who won’t treat them like a dog. Maybe girls want to feel needed and desire to achieve something as they tried to do over the 50s and 60s. Maybe these girls are trying to rebel from the daddy issues they’ve encountered. Perhaps its a combination of the two.

It really seems that this phenomenon, if we can call it that, is meant for the emerging adult. I also think its funny that this ‘rebel’ is not found attractive nearly as much in the male culture as the female.

1 or more

Any guy whos going to try and play it ‘too cool’ is always going to say that having multiple wives is having better than one, but when you really get down to it, is this really the case?

I think that because of certain social changes that have occurred over the last one hundred years that people can stick with one person. If those two people connect on an emotional as well as the physical level it can work. For all of the reasons we have discussed over the course of the semester..

1. 100 years ago it would’ve been more practical to have multiple marriage partners at once because each one could provide something else for the family. Maybe one was a provider, one a lover, one a child bearer ect.

2. Also, 100 years ago women didn’t really have the opinions that they have now, or rather they couldn’t express them like they can now. If it were a man’s say he would probably say lets go for more women. The whole ‘more is better’ argument.

But in todays time more than one marriage partner at once just isn’t practical. Eventually someone is going to get jealous and get too attached because we’ve evolved as humans to not depend on each other so much. It is no longer necessary to have 20 kids to work in the field. Two people can marry and love each other and stay that way happily.

90%? Really?

The other day Ashley made a comment in passing that really stuck with me and that was the fact that around 90% of kids get placed with their mothers if their parents are divorced.

Why is that? If women really make about 75cents to the dollar of what men make, don’t you think it would be more beneficial to let them be with the man? I suppose that the stereotypes that women are more tender and caring also come into play. People just assume that the woman will be more loving. Yet I don’t get this. We get so mad at stereotyping women and how they can’t do this or that but why are we stereotyping guys that they can’t love their kids as affectionately as women can?

Obviously women can provide certain things to help the child, for example information on ‘womanly things’ when that time comes or help with homework. But can a father not help a guy on sports, sex education, and homework as well? I think societal stereotypes are the reason for this 90/10 dillema we have going here. If the split were a little more close it wouldn’t have alarmed me as much, but w/ 90% of kids going with their mothers.. it just baffles me. Surely by this point in time, we have just enough evidence to support kids feeling just as close to their dad as the moms.. especially if that kid is a male.

III is better

Robert Griffin III should win the Heisman. I do attend Baylor University and though some may disagree and claim that I’m biased.. I hope that my opinions may change your mind.

1. Rg3 to Luck

Our boy RG3 has a nearly 600 more yards passing than Andrew Luck. 3572 to 2973. Griffin has 2 more TDs and 3 fewer INTs than his counterpart. He’s also boasts a higher completion percentage and has over 5X the amount of rushing yards that luck has + 5 rushing TD to Luck’s 3. I feel that people have fallen in love with Luck because of the NFL potential that they see. Surely this is the case and Luck is a better pro-prospect than Griffin but he doesn’t mean as much to his team nor is he having the type of year that Griffin III is.

2. Rg3 to Barkley

This is easy. RG3 boasts the same number of TDs but 2 fewer INTs than Bark. Yet his completion percentage is significantly higher (67) to (72 of RG3). RG3 ALSO has nearly 600 rushing yards and 5 TDs where Bark has 20 rushing yards.

The following will be used to explain further discrepancies between Luck, Barkley, and RG3. Rg3 has to play his absolute best for Baylor to have a chance to win the game. As a Baylor student and fan, its annoying that hes got to score on 70-80% of his drives or we will lose. Against K-St, OSU, and TAMU (Baylors 3 losses) Rg3 put up major numbers and the defense essentially let them down. Rg3 also has 2 signature wins and a few other minorly significant wins. Majors being TCU and OU minors being Mizzou. In these games he has single handily put the team on his back and took over. Any time Rg3 has been called to take down a ‘big dog’ in a big moment, he’s done it. What can Bark and Luck say to this? Both of those guys can hand off the ball and punt it back to their defense if needed. Plus, both are overrated in a conference w/ 3 good teams (Oregon, USC, and Stanford). Sure Bark beat Oregon but he also lost head to head vs. Luck (wow big Heisman moment) and Luck got beat by a shanty Oregon D (big Heisman win huh? Or was that his crushing of a terrible Dr. Lou Notre Dame team?)

If it hasn’t become apparent by now.. Rg3′s team needs him tremendously. The level of talent he’s competing against can only be matched by Trent Richardson’s competition. Case Keenum is a great player and puts up huge numbers. But I’d like to see the statistical break downs of runs to passes in that offense. He puts up big numbers because they throw every play and don’t run. Not to mention their conference USA defenses consistently don’t have a pulse. Tulane? UAB? SMU? Tulsa? Those are your big wins? LA Tech? I saw on ESPN that they have somewhere around the 10th easiest schedule in the NCAA and that they’ve played like 7 of the top 20 worse D’s in the NCAA.

Trent Richardson shouldn’t win the Heisman because Alabama doesn’t need him. They would have one loss (that is to LSU) whether or not they had him. He said it himself after the Iron Bowl, the defense and the OL gets a lot of credit. When all of your lineman are 5 star recruits like Alabamas it makes running easy. Sure Trent Richardson has had some good games but when the time came for him to put the team on his shoulders vs LSU he didn’t do it. I just feel that running backs have too much reliance on the O-Line. Griffin… he gets smacked every time he throws a deep ball because he doesn’t have an O-Line.

I have some hope that someone who has a vote in the Heisman will see this and change their opinion and put Rg3 on the top of their ballet. 3 losses? Not a lot considering Tebow had 3 when he won it and its not a lot considering the defense Rg3 has to rely on. On one final note, Rg3 has led 6, 600 yard games for Baylor this year. Nick Florence did well vs a faulty Tech D but lets see him take down monsters of TCU and OU like Rg3 did. RGIII for Heisman people.

Delayed Child Rearing Discussion

I thought our panel of moms was very interesting even for a guy who doesn’t have to go through physically delivering a baby. There was much more than I thought actually went into it. A few of the women were saying how much they had to deal with insurance and how that actually semi-decided when and what kind of delivery they would be doing. Also, who knew that these deliveries were so expensive? 10 grand? JEEEEZ

Also, I thought it was really unfortunate that many hospitals will feed your baby formula when they are doing other ‘maintenance’ on the baby. Not only is it unethical to not alert the mom to what your doing but it also disrupts the normal bodily functions such as the production of their milk. I also had no idea that a woman’s breast milk changes with the needs of the baby. I guess that it makes sense but I had never thought about it.

I know a few people who don’t breast feed because of medication they take, it wouldn’t allow for healthy breast milk. I understand that the formula will provide the baby protein and what not but I now know how much better breast milk is for everyone.

Sociologically, I think its important for women and men to let the doctors know what they want before the process begins and be ready to expect changes along the way because inevitably something will go wrong. People have got to communicate the best that they can yet be as open minded as possible as to not get frustrated not if but when something goes wrong.

Gottlieb again

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=12765&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=901657

I was looking through Yahoo headlines as I normally do and found this article. I’ve definitely been a victim of some of these blunders!

For the LOVE OF GOD don’t talk about X’s! Number one pet peeve of me (and most other guys for that matter). The last thing I want to here about is why you and your EX broke up or what he did that I don’t do or better yet.. what ya’ll did sexually.

I guess there can many societal reasons for these blunders occurring. I suppose that people just don’t know what to say around the opposite sex and just don’t have enough experience. Often first dates people don’t know each other well so they don’t feel comfortable telling someone when they’re messing up. I don’t think society can expect someone to tell a first date acquaintance when and if they mess up. So how do guys or girls know that they messed up on the 1st date because of something they did and not necessarily “who they were”? Because like the article said.. the first date isn’t a therapy session and although everyone has secrets that are okay to share later on.. this isn’t something that should be shared on the 1st date.

I found it interesting to read but even more so since I had read Lori’s other article a few weeks ago. I can definitely see a woman looking too much into a first date and rejecting a guy assuming she could do better before giving the guy a living chance.

Baby in the Bed

I didn’t actually realize that sometimes a baby sleeping in the bed could be beneficial. I mean it seems so obvious after reading the article that it made breast feeding access or general care of the baby easier at night. I think that the baby being next to its mother would also have a very powerful affect on the baby. It would probably make the emotional tie between child and parent stronger. Though, I would suggest that the split between parent/ baby when the baby gets older may be harder since the baby hasn’t been away from its parents in sleep.

 

Despite of all this information, I still agree that sleeping with the baby poses way to many hazards. When I was thinking whether or not I’d let my baby ever sleep with me.. I tried to think whether or not I roll a lot when I sleep. But I couldn’t really know. After all, I’m sleeping and out of it. I think that anything could happen when the baby is in the bed and even your on it for a minute or two.. that could be the baby’s life. There are obvious benefits to being closer when the baby is in need, but I think the negative hazards highly outweigh the positives of this argument.

Emerging Narrative Narative

My own emerging adulthood narrative goes something like this..

I graduated high school in 2008

Came to Baylor

Graduate from Baylor in December 2011

I plan to A.) attend graduate school B.) Work straight out

I plan to get married around the age of thirty or so

I plan to have kids around 35-40

Retire sooner rather than later assuming Ive got enough money saved up. Hopefully in my 60s

Then, eventually I’ll die.

Emerging adulthood is essentially a hybrid between being 18 and legally an adult and being completely dependent and being more than just “legal” It is almost a proving grounds or means at which people can “find themseleves’ and make this transition from teen to adult a little easier. Naturally, as we discussed in class, there is a model that society tells us is the most effective to follow. Within this model people can ease into adulthood but I believe someone is thrust into adulthood before they are ready if they have a kid at an early age or something like that.

The concept of the narrative during emerging adulthood works very similar to a story. Each story has crucial plot points but not every one is exactly the same. Every emerging adult has similar characteristics such as schooling, kids, dating, job, etc. but maybe in that order or maybe not.

As I discussed earlier, these plot points or elements of a narrative, guide emerging adults because that is what has been proven to be the most successful model for most people. Naturally not everyone follows the same path but for most emerging adults, this is the easiest way for success as well as happiness.

There are several ways that one exists the emerging adulthood phase and continues to regular adulthood. I believe one of the main ways is your relationship with your parents. Many people in our class had different responses about their relationship with their parents once college started. For me personally, my relationship has gotten better because I don’t have to see them all the time and although I love my parents sometimes we would get on each others nerves. I think as you grow older and become an adult this will even be more prevalent. You will want to have an established relationship with your parents outside of them being a bank and the relationship will probably be more based on emotion. In addition, you may not see your parents as much once your establishing a home of your own so your relationship will change then as well.

The topic of sex is an interesting one. As you transfer from emerging adult to adult, the number of sexual partners should decrease because college is one of the most sexually active times of your life. However,  Baylor is quite religious so it is hard to get an accurate gauge on this aspect of emerging adulthood. For many people, I believe leaving a conservative society may open more windows for dating and provide more sexual opportunities. In addition, depending on the societal pressures put on hooking up, different locations emerging adults move to after graduation might depend on the rate at which they have sex.

Work. Many students in college and high school work. The difference between adulthood work and emerging adulthood work is that when you are an adult you should be anywhere from 85%-100% dependent. With the struggling economy, I think we can get young adults the benefit of still relying on their parents a little bit because there simply isn’t a lot of jobs open. However, I believe that emerging adults cannot support themselves with the work that they have whereas adults can. Adults probably hold  much more traditional working hours too.

Finally, in emerging adulthood, people are trying to find their identity. They experiment with many different faiths, backgrounds, or maybe don’t go at all to church whereas the previously did. Upon adulthood though, most people start going back to church. They realize that having a strong code of morals is important and going to some sort of church, synagogue, mosque, temple is a good way to go. Especially when an adult has kids does this really become a strong part of one’s life.

 

 

 

I revisited

The whole strip club question that was asked in class about a week ago.. I revisited. I know that it’s a touchy issue so I googled it. I put “should married men go to a strip club?” into the search engine.

I just felt that we weren’t getting the overall public opinion of this question by simply asking emerging adults who all go to a religious school and who are primarily women. Maybe it’s a coincidence.. I don’t know, but it seemed that most people on yahoo answers felt very similar to our class. A women apparently married a man whom had the same religious morals as she did and neither one of them had a traditional bachelor party with strippers or anything like that. However, her husband had went to a strip club for the first time for one of his friends bachelor parties in which the friends vowed to “keep that night between them.” Personally, when you put the night in those terms I just assume that something bad happened but yahoo commenters had mixed feelings.

Some people agreed that a man should be able to go to a strip club and that if a woman trusts her man, she won’t worry about anything truly promiscuous happening. Some said that a man should respect his woman and listen to what she says. I’ve already wrote one blog on this, so I’ll try to be brief.. but it really does boil down to the social aspects of your relationship. Whether its the strip club, folding towels, leaving hair in the sink, or whatever.. fighting will occur in a marriage. The best thing to do is compromise and get through it. If one person in the relationship stays to mad for too long, it can’t be healthy for the relationship. Probably the most successful model, not that I’ve ever been married, is to try and respect your partners wishes as best you can, but understand that in some cases they should be broken. However, these times they’re broken, should not ruin or put the marriage in jeopardy, and the partner who doesn’t want their other going to a strip club should understand that it is okay in certain situations.

By the way, you can literally google any question and people would have asked it on yahoo. Some people are really really REALLY stupid.